It is with a heavy heart that I declare a final closure for the passing away of The Beauty Of Doubt.
TBOD originally announced it had played it's last show back in February 2012, and my whole world came crashing down. This came unexpectedly and had crushed a lot of our hearts for those who believed that this band matters. I beat myself up about missing
that last show for months, and had looked at moving ahead for the remainder of the year being pissed off about the band's break-up.
So, imagine my surprise when in May 2012, a benefit show for a friend was supported by the band and had them playing this proper final gig. I laid out all the cards at work just so I can go fuckin' see this life-changing band once more, albeit for the last time.
Only a handful of bands can be said to have made a huge dent in the Philippine Hardcore Punk scene, and TBOD is right up there with the 80's TRC bands of old, as well as 90's greats Biofeedback & Mindrape, It was always a pleasure to be a part of their shows, savoring each and every moment the band took command of the stage be it club/bars, multi purpose halls, basketball courts, abandoned spaces, garages, hell, anywhere the band was invited to play. In a time of the scene's unwanted penetration of lost, clueless kids mouthng off their own versions of Hardcore-This and Punk-That slogans,The Beauty Of Doubt raised their own battlecry directive aimed at everyone claiming the scene.
Their message, simply put, was delivered loud and clear: "Question everything."
The band simply put the threat back where it rightfully belonged: in Hardcore Punk.
Salamat Boyet, Albert, Mark, Jepoi, Erwin at Ron.
I felt like the real fanboy that I am ever since the band started years back. and after their chilling, final set, I had to ask the band's autograph on their interview pages of Konspirazine # 3 (Dec 2009). A bittersweet "remembrance", if you will.
"The Humbling tackles human arrogance, and our misplaced sense of self-importance and how life proves us wrong everyday. The whole song was already done before I came up with the words. I came up with the lyrics the same way I come up woth all the lyrics I've ever written. It was what I was experiencing at that particular time.
I was having some existentlial crisis, and that's when I really felt like I do not know anything, No matter how much I think I do, and that my life is totally insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I think we all experience that dilemma no matter what role we play in this life. I just wish I could've written it better but that's all I am capable of, so even that was a humbling experience for me."
[- Ronald Schlander]
"Tara ilabas nyo lahat ng hinanakit nyo sa mundo."
We claim to have all the answers,
yet none of us hold a single truth
and tiny bits of information
are called knowledge by us fools!
But when life hits us in the face,
we realize that we have no understanding of what it takes
to find the meaning in our hollow lives,
our insignificance becomes more apparent in time
And time is an unforgiving tool
it reduces leaders and claimers
to fools what it gives it takes away,
and leave us all at the
mercy of another day
so don't think you've got it made,
'cause we're all the same
caught up in this humbling
and no amount of power, fortune or fame
will spare you from the humbling
'cause life does have a bitter taste!
no matter what part you play in its twisted game
It's like being lost in an endless maze
with every turn becoming harder and harder to face
But are we just paying for the arrogance of our ways
when we're touched by the humbling
'cause no amount of progress we've made
has spared us from the humbling
just when we thought for sure we knew it all
reality comes crashing in
and all we could do is live the best we can
Life is a humbling experience (No matter who you are...)
R.I.P. THE BEAUTY OF DOUBT
As one of my mentors from Incidental Afterthought zine so aptly put it: "Like all living things (and ironically, a title of one of their songs), everything ends. Thank you TBOD for the forward-thinking music and progressive art you've made in the Philippine underground."
THE BEAUTY OF DOUBT IS FUCKIN' DEAD.
LONG LIVE THE BEAUTY OF DOUBT!!